My husband and I have been using one phone for a year now. I am going to share that journey with you, and how everything’s turned out so far.
How It Started
In December 2023, I embarked on a journey that literally lasted less than an hour. I am not even sure if that even qualifies as embarking. Anyway, I decided to try and live a phone-less life. The main reason behind it was that I didn’t want to upgrade my phone, which was the iPhone XR from 2018. I guess I was just not in the mood to spend a thousand dollars on a phone. When I told Yego (my husband) about it, he thought it was a fun challenge but not challenging enough. I am always up for a healthy challenge. So, he proposed we use one phone.
It’s absurd for one reason; we can’t share devices! Between the two of us, we have three MacBooks and four tablets. That was part of the reason why getting a new phone didn’t make sense to me. I already have a lot of devices, and the minimalist in me simply couldn’t take any more. Sharing devices with my husband is not fun. I always know when he’s touched my iPad or MacBook. He moves things around and never puts them back where they should be, and that just drives me nuts. Sharing a phone was definitely going to be a huge challenge, but I was determined to make it work.
Getting Started
Once I got rid of my phone, there was no going back. We started using his iPhone 11 Pro Max, and we agreed that we’d only get a new phone when that one stopped working. A year later, I doubt we’re ever going to use separate phones again. That’s not to say we haven’t had our differences, though. Since it was his phone, I probably have more to complain about than he does.
Passcode
The first challenge I’ve had in the last 12 months is remembering his passcode when FaceID fails. I already use different passwords and codes for all my devices, which was already too much. Now, I had one more to remember, and it has been a nightmare. I still have to think for a second to remember his passcode.
Notifications
I have already mentioned this in the past: I don’t like notifications. I have them turned off on all my devices so I don’t get distracted by random messages from different apps. Most of them are never that useful or relevant, to start with, especially when you share a phone. Yego, on the other hand, loves notifications. He has them turned on for all his apps, and no matter how many times I have turned them off, he doesn’t get tired of turning them back on. At least I have convinced him to put the phone on silence 90% of the time. He removed that a month ago, though, and I just gave up at that point.
Splitting Accounts
We didn’t factor it into our calculations that using one phone meant one SIM card and effectively bank accounts. My husband is into blockchain technology, and the only part of that I mildly understand is crypto currency. He has a lot of finance accounts that he was already using. He always kept his personal and work finances separate, so for our daily expenses, we have had to use my accounts. But in 2024, we’ve explored new ones that had to go under my name. I did all my account verifications using his number, and now it’s just one big mess (banks, etc.). Our most used app sometimes requires a face scan when making big payments. He can’t use that if I’m not around, and he hates that. I find it kind of hilarious.
Updating Apps
I review apps for a living. It involves systematically tracking updates and keeping all my apps up-to-date every single day, on every device; and I do all of that manually. That way I don’t miss any important updates. My baby does not update any of his devices, but now, I’m stuck with his phone that he simply won’t update. I could update it for him, and I have tried, but he has 3 different Apple IDs and I am struggling to keep up with his passcode. No way I am going to remember all those passwords. I simply lack the will. But it bugs me so much!
How It Works
Yego and I use very different apps. We’re both digital nomads, we work from home so, we hardly use phones. I mostly reply messages from family on his WhatsApp and Messages. When a message comes through, Yego goes, ‘Aaah, it’s mom.’ Don’t think he’s going to pick up the phone and respond, no! Notifications don’t bother him, badges all that. He’ll know there’s a message and still not reply it after two weeks. By which time, I would have probably lost it. So, I have become his secretary, involuntarily. I also like playing games when I am waiting for something to render, or upload. Sometimes I go on his Facebook. Mine is for work, so not much happens on it.
That’s all I use a phone for, outside of work. Can you believe that? Whenever the phone is free, I prefer typing on it when I write scripts and courses. Yego follows his crypto news. I thought we used the phone a lot, but we’re averaging 8-hour use, daily, between two people. That’s actually not much. Definitely not worth having two separate phones.
Moving Forward
The iPhone 11 Pro Max has been freezing for months now, but it’s not dead yet, for replacement as we initially agreed. I have actually never had or seen anyone with an iPhone that actually died. Going back all the way to iPhone 5. I think I am surrounded by a bunch of responsible humans. Today we’re celebrating our shared iPhone 11 Pro Max, that we’ve successfully shared for a year. We are not sure if or when we’re replacing it, but we have agreed that the next iPhone will use my Apple ID because at least, I update apps.
We’ve also noticed that when we go out, it’s always uncomfortable having one phone when we separate. So, that might be a reason to get another phone, so that at least if we get separated, we can still communicate. It looks a bit ridiculous using a 12-inch iPad Pro outside. So, that’s a good reason to get another phone. One we use every day, and a backup one for when we separate. Have any of you guys ever shared a mobile phone? How did it go? Let me know!